For the last few weeks i haven't been really looking forward to going to church, this is because as some of you know my church has no youths and have to go to the main service, cause my chinese isn't that good i don't understand most of the time. So for the past few weeks iv went into a room on my own, when the main service went on, and i did my own bible study. Last week they didn't let me because my mum was preaching and she said it was something good, so i went into the main service but i still didn't gain anything even though i listened to what she was trying to say, and this week i asked my parents whether i could go into the small room again and do my own bible study and time with God, because i don't think i gained anything from the main service and instead of just wasting time i thought i might aswell take the advantage right? But she said no. This got me real angry, my parent told me,'if you don't understand then go to the english service in the morning, we'll go twice a month.' I was thinking but that doesn't reali help though because i'd still be goin to chinese church learning nothing, yet they still repeated the same thing. They also said to me, 'you being there in the main service encourages other people to stay' but i responded, 'well they understand so it's okay for them but it doesn't do me any good.' And then my mum said, 'If you want a youth group at church we can pray about it.' and again i thought, 'like i haven't been praying but that's not my point.' I want to come out of church every week and take something from it even if it's just a little bit. I just feel that if i keep going to church and don't learn anything i will go back to square one and i REALLY don't want that, after having such an experience with God during this summer.
I've been thinking today that most of the churches i've been to, i seem to be the only youth or the only youth who's Christian and i just think WHY? Why God? What is your purpose for me to be the only only youth or Christian youth? Today in service the talk was about God providing for you, like if you have faith in Him God will give you all you need. So when i got home i felt/remind me that God was trying to tell me that God has a prupose for me in the future, i know that many of the times i won't feel like going but i got to endure it. Keep reading His words in the morning.
Few weeks ago i felt that God wanted me to guide the Youths here to Christ, yea okay i'm fine with that but how? Show me how God! Show me how to reach out to them!
I just pray that God will do something amazing because i'm just getting so tired of the same thing every week at church, waiting for service to finish, looking forward to go home. I want to be able to look forward to church every week instead of thinking, 'Oh it's another sunday at church of nothing.' I try to think that okay i'm doin this for God so i should give Him praise anyways, but i doesn't really work.
Please pray for my church and me Thanks.
